Simba Mazhani, a returning writer, is currently serving as a missionary for the Seventh-day Adventist Church in the village of Makopong with aspirations of becoming a family counselor. Being a child of God & servant among men, he desires to bring people from all walks of life to Christ & His truths, wherein lies true love, joy and unity. Enjoy!
As a young person, one of my deepest desires is to someday have a family to call my own. To some degree, whether culturally or personally, having a family is attributed to having attained some sort of success. The closer you get to your thirties, the more frequently you hear the broken record of “O nyala/nyalwa leng?” (When are you getting married?)
If it’s not the pressures from the elderly that affect you, it’s the constant bombardment of images & videos on social media, where everybody seems to be getting married or pregnant, that make you wonder just how near or far your day is. And I’m by no means immune to these pressures; my long-term crush just delivered a healthy bouncy baby boy last month and my close friend is getting married this coming weekend! Aaaaaaaand then, there’s me… Just me.
Over the past year, I’ve tried to take advantage of my singleness and learn a thing or two about this age-old phenomenon that almost everybody seems to long for, and the Lord has been abundantly gracious in His teachings. The subject matter was inspired by my daily Bible reading when I came across Numbers 25.
“And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab” (Num 25:1)
Immediately when I read this, it reminded me of;
“…the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose” (Gen 6:2)
Both Numbers 25 & Genesis 6 carry on to depict severe punishments that God exacted and it would seem that the root cause of those drastic actions was the aforementioned unions between men & women. I was highly intrigued by this thought!
Could the very thing that we rush to get into be the cause of our global downfall today? Is our individual hunger for relational success the recipe for humanity’s collective failures?
Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, gives intense counsel regarding issues of intimacy between men & women. One would actually think that he is anti-marriage if they didn’t take time to fully digest the contents of his message.
He boldly states, “…to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I” (1 Cor 7:8) – # Team single!!
He then gives the foundation for his argument in vs 32-35:
“…He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
…The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit:
But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
It is common knowledge, and common sense, that when you’re in a relationship, compromises need to be made in order to accommodate the other party. You are not as free to do all the things that you used to do when you were alone. Sacrifices must be made in order to make it work.
What many fail to realize is that some of the sacrifices we make for the sake of our relationships impede the sacrifice that is due to the Lord.
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Rom 12:1-2)
The total transformation of mind, body & character to live according to His statutes; that is the sacrifice required of us. It is described as our reasonable service because it is without question the very least that we can give to He who emptied Heaven so that we may be given an opportunity to be saved, with no guarantees that we would even accept His priceless gift.
Regardless, to ensure that we are accepted & loved by our significant other, we continue to conform to this world. The principles that govern it are adopted to govern our closest relationships. Case in point; tweets, Facebook pictures, movies, porn, magazine articles, soap operas, reality shows, novels etc.
All of them influence how we relate to & want to please our partner; but very rarely do they ever go about it in a Godly way.
With Love, SM.