Identity Check

Katlo Botho Mokoba is a graduate from Monash University, BA in Business and Commerce with a specialization in Marketing and E-Business. She is A Lover of life, food people & the arts, Last of three children,  who hails from Serowe . She is Passionate about all things melanin and social media . She is Dying daily, living freely, and loving unconditionally because He first loved Her. Enjoy!

Some time ago I saw a rather interesting post, actually very funny if I have to say. The whole post was basically a punt to tomboys and was titled “the problem of dating #tomboy”. Let me just first make a slight grammatical correction to the title which I believe would be much appreciated “the problem WITH dating a #tomboy” and I want to add on to say that the major problem with actually dating a tomboy is, there is none.

For those that are secure and sure of their identity in Christ they cannot fear titles or labels that follow that outward appearance.

I reflect back in my own life and on instances where individuals have asked me if I date, maybe I assume for the inquisitive to prove to themselves that someone so inherently masculine could never find the opposite gender attractive. Let me first of all start of by saying this piece not solely on self-identity which is a discussion for another time but only just a response to the assumption that a woman who is a “tomboy” would be a serious problem to date because of the mere fact that she is a tomboy.

The book of Jeremiah tells this about me and about all believers “before I formed you in the womb, I knew all about you…” Jeremiah 1:5 ,now can I be surprised at myself because I am not like everyone else.

I am unique and therefore it is my uniqueness that set me apart and in fact for some reason virtually fearless and confident in the plan that God has for me.

 My tomboy-ness does not in any way impede me from being a WOMAN on the contrary it is my best form of expression – displaying my God given womanhood. What society has to say about me is none of my concern it is only my duty to be concerned with what my Maker has to say about me.

And what he says about me will blow your mind, He says of me “you’re fearfully and wonderfully made…” and turns in the same way to the same society and says “marvel at my work…” Psalm 139:14

There is nothing under the sun that is hidden from God; He knew I would be the me I am right now. If He created and formed me before time: to be born a female then I have no doubt He intended for me to be this way. The way I dress or appear to the world was all seen and known to Him, because guess what in case you’re still confused, God doesn’t make mistakes.

In a society that tries to tell me that I can’t find love because I am a different type of feminine, I say well your opinion is your own and has absolutely nothing to with me. I have been single for most of my life because I understand that in order to be fulfilled in the union of a relationship/marriage I must first trust Him the Giver of all things to give me that one man, who was also created and formed by God just for ME. I have tried by my own efforts in the past to change myself but realized that only God can change me and just because you don’t see it doesn’t me He hasn’t changed me,( Philippians 1:6).

I am not even wavered because I know what He started in me; He will bring to completion and all in His time.

I will not listen to anyone that tells me that if I dress like a tomboy I will not find love, because God loves me and He who is Himself LOVE shall surely make love available to me.

I am a woman and no matter the clothes I wear, who I am was carefully chosen by God and written in my very DNA.

I am a woman of substance and cannot be boxed in. I am not my clothes, I am warrior. I am emotional and sensitive, but not weak. I am who God says I am and I am beautiful woman.

With Love, KM.

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