Be Bold

Keabetswe Molotsi is a born again woman and in love with the English language. She is a lawyer by profession but a high school teacher by passion and has recently just broken into the field. She would say that she is an artist because that is her heart. She is also trying to expand musically so in addition to playing the guitar, she has been learning the bass and maybe singing . Presently her driving force has literally been, “Meh, why not? Go for it.” She attends His People Church Gaborone and serves at youth ministry and music. Enjoy!

About seven years ago I sat in my bedroom holding a University of Botswana application form. I was so uncertain about my choice that I only wrote down two options. I couldn’t be bothered with a third because I didn’t want to go there in the first place. I simply wasn’t ready. My second choice was Architecture. I figured I liked drawing anyway so hey, who not. My first was LLB 260, that’s what they called it on the programme brochure. Legum Baccalaureus. I had to google the meaning and discovered that it was simply Bachelor of Laws in Latin.

All my life I was told I could be a good lawyer “because I liked to talk so much.” I never considered it much. It was just a nebulous thought in the back of my head. I would smile, shrug and carry on. In any case the only two things I remember seriously considering as career options were Field Journalism or writing. I was nine and I relished the idea of travelling and writing about it.

But nine years later I sat in my room and applied to study law at UB because I couldn’t get sponsorship to do the only things I had ever vaguely considered. I appealed so many times to the department responsible for government sponsorship, DTEF, but to no avail. I looked on, truly happy for my friends as they were approved but unable to completely ignore the sharp sting of pain because I wasn’t going with them.

At that time I really questioned my relationship with God. I had always believed in the “ask and you shall receive” principle without understanding context, without understanding that God’s will surpasses my own.

I did not realise that God was not a wishing tree or a magic genie in a lamp there to grant your wishes. Still, that knowledge didn’t make the rejection any easier.

I still don’t fully understand why I never got that scholarship but I find a certain peace in the fact that God sometimes maintains mystery in his works. I now remember Romans 11:33-34, emphasis on 34: “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counsellor?” Who indeed? Can you say you were with Him when he created the flawless globe of the earth?

Sometimes I still wish I had been given more time to wait and think about school. Think about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. How can a few months possibly be enough to make the decision that will change the course of your life forever? The answer; it’s really not. I was in third year when I realised I didn’t actually want to be a lawyer. To be honest, I knew from the beginning that I didn’t but I thought that it would grow on me. It really didn’t.

It’s truly a testament to the grace of God that I managed to get through five year of law school (relatively) mentally unscathed. Again, I am yet to see the fruits of this labour, but I still have faith that there was a reason behind it all.

My faith was tested in truly taxing ways, to the point where I said to God, “That’s it. I’m done with Christianity.” And then I swiftly remembered, what then? On the other hand, there were also times when I passed exams I had no hope of passing at all.

Even after completing my degree and parading around that stadium in my robe and bib (a truly gratifying feeling) I was thrown into the fast lane again: I had to get a job.

Here’s something you should know about me: faith is my food. I believe in God as a provider.

I believe that I cannot truly be at the end of my rope as long as I have God because I have seen him work. So I knew that when I believed Him for a job with a great mentor and a specific salary that I would get it. I walked into one particular law firm and when I walked out of that interview I had no doubt in my mind: that job was mine. Moreover, I was to earn even more than I had asked for. Please don’t mistake this for arrogance or some prosperity gospel; I’m just being very straightforward.

Ask yourself this; who do you say God is? Is he the same God who told a lion to shut its mouth in spite of its instinct? If you believe so then you should have no trouble believing Him for things that don’t always make sense to the world.

This is coming from someone who was denied so many times that it doesn’t make sense for her to believe anymore.

When I quit that job after only three months it was not an easy path to navigate. A lot of questions went through my mind; was I a quitter? How would I maintain myself? Make a living? Would I actually break into the career I quit the job for? Would I find a job teaching, as unqualified as I was? And most recently I thought, was I just a spoilt daddy’s girl used to hardly ever wanting for anything? That one was difficult to comprehend. If so, how would I ever learn to take care of myself?

I was assured by a still small voice that told me to be bold. To take a leap of faith and brazenly fight for what I knew, for once, I truly wanted.

I knew that it would not be easy to walk away from a well paying job and try to break into a new field. But I also knew that I did not want to be in the same place ten years later and hate past ‘Me’ for not trying when I was younger. I knew I did not want to draft pleadings and be stuck in office all day for the rest of my life. I want to put emphasis on this, though; I was not quitting a job, I was breaking into a new career. I was going for a dream that had been cultivated in me for years without me really noticing.

The hardest thing was living with the fear that I had disappointed a father who had done a great deal for me in my life. More that I know, I’m sure. I knew he would be worried for my future. I knew that the questions I had asked myself, he had asked himself too. I wish he could truly know, for good, that I am more than satisfied that I got the job I had asked God for.

I’m working in a high school now, teaching English, and it took me a week to know that I wanted to do that for a living. Everytime a student finally understands something, everytime a student improves in their schoolwork, everytime a student learns something they didn’t know before I get an overwhelming sense of fulfilment.

I am satisfied with my life not just because of what I’m doing but because I responded to the inherent call to not, ever be mundane.

To see Romans 12:2 in a new light; to not conform to the patterns of the world but to be bold and be transformed by the renewing of my in order to know God’s perfect will. In sum; you cannot think like the world and expect to get otherworldly results.

Be Bold.

With Love, KM.

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