Pearl Serite, a returning writer is a young ambitious lady who delights herself in the Lord. She was born and raised in the village of Serowe. She appreciates Christian poetry, reading and writing. She fellowships at Pentecostal Holiness Church,Gaborone. Her relationship with music is one of a complete devotion especially songs that minister to her.Enjoy!
Sadness at the passing nature of life first hit me at about fifteen years old. I was doing my Form 2 then, yet it still feels like yesterday. Heart aching. I had a sense of loss, thinking it would never be the same again without my great grandmother. For with that thought came the feeling that all is lost. Fun and laughter. Folk tales and memorable historical war stories were all lost. It is through her that I learnt about our Setswana culture. Stories about societal groups according to age and gender termed as “mephato”. I liked hearing about “mophato wa malekantwa” which directly translates to war testers.
I found such stories very interesting and worth listening to especially from her. On that day I found her sleeping as if she could wake up. In fact, I was woken up just to come and see her as she rested in peace. It was only a few hours before I was supposed to prepare for school. One glance at her and tears filled and rolled down my eyes. I didn’t know how to handle it nor what to say. It was over with her. Such a wonderful woman who at the age of 81 was still after God’s heart and desired that which pleases Him. Having that in mind I was sure that she has rested peacefully. The woman who groomed me into the lady that I am today was no more. The very same woman who I spent most of my childhood with and gave me a beautiful nickname Mapheluza. She was gone. Faded childhood story to jog the memory, to hold on to what was really precious that is now swept away in the swiftness of passing time. It is sad.
Earlier on this year I experienced sorrow once again when I lost an uncle-my very closest one. He was a man who sincerely served the Lord and would go out of his way to help others at no cost. He was that caring. Him passing away came as a poison that spread entirely through my heart as it brought about feelings I had covered when I lost my great grandmother in 2008. It was unbearable yet I didn’t want to talk about it. To me it didn’t seem like the weight of grief is lighter when shared. Isn’t that what most of us feel when we experience such sorrow? We tend to shut down on everything and the only question we seem to have in mind is, why God? Why take away all the good ones?
Time and again, we lose our loved ones to death and yet we question, why? Because obviously we so wish all could live till eternity but do we ever wonder how that is going to happen when Jesus hasn’t returned for us?
We must take heart that in the midst of life we are in death. Truth be told that we are a fading of the golden light, growing up out of innocent into the hard realities of this world. And yet we are still trying to cling on to such memories- to make permanent the passing days. No matter how much we choose to be ignorant and unresponsive to almost everything, when death knocks and takes away our loved ones automatically we are affected, one way or the other.
It is only in God where we should set our eyes fixed upon for He is our comforter who permeates our souls with His love which overflows.
In Isaiah 40:29 we are assured of His comfort for us- ‘He gives power to the weak and to those who have no might he increases strength’. It is worth noting that when we are mourning and grieving we are weak but God’s spirit in us is strong. As broken and torn apart as we may be, His Word still stands to say ‘weeping my endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.’
I have learnt that trying to balance the feelings of pain, loss and doleful while going forward with our everyday life is the most difficult thing for some people as it is/was with me. At some point I actually wanted my feelings and emotions to be like those of other people. All happy and free of burdens. I had subconsciously forgot that God made everyone of us unique and as such grieving is a personal journey. Most of us fall for the same mistake. Yet all we have to do is allow your process to take course and accept that this person is really gone and delight in God’s word.
Jesus tells us in John 14:1 that we should not let our hearts be troubled, but rather we should believe in God and believe also in Him. Between now and then the clock ticks on and refuses to turn back. Let go.
The healing and love will enter your life and you will be able to move in wholeness and grace. Truth is, God does not wipe our minds-rather he transforms existence and what disappears are all the unpleasant, painful and tragic experiences.
May the peace of God be with you as He gives you true rest of His abundant comfort. Come to Him as heavy laden as you are for He will give you rest (Matthew 11: 28-30).
With Love, PS.